- Judge you
- Not respect you
- Think you are not good enough
Well, actually, that is often the exact opposite of what really happens when you share your challenges and fears with others.
There is something very endearing about a person who is not afraid to show others their struggles and challenges, how you deal with them, how they have effected you and that you too, despite perhaps people thinking otherwise because you are outwardly confident, a go-getter, someone who is achieving amazing success, are just like them.When someone looks at you and sees someone who is achieving a host of things they would like to achieve, someone who can help them take the steps and create success, feel confident and live life to the full, and that person allows them to see their mistakes, their fears, their challenges. That can be far more powerful than when they see someone who is totally confident, has always had a great life and nothing ever goes wrong for them.
When you are able to share things that you are going through in your life, and let others share your journey, this oftentimes will help the person that wants to achieve what you are achieving, or do what you are doing, to see that having fears or challenges is OK!
Now there is a difference between sharing your vulnerabilities and challenges, and being needy or a victim, people who do that push those that care away from them and people are not drawn to need and a victim mentality - you know those that say:
- Everyone is against me
- I'm useless
- Nothing ever works for me
- It's all their fault
- They wont let me
- It's not fair
And those are the mild examples....
People wont look at you or feel inspired by you if you do that, but if you share how you feel, what you are facing and your challenges and fears, whilst walking through them, stepping up and still taking action despite those fears. That's when people start to understand in themselves that it's OK to have fears. People love to listen to you, because they know that you are just like them, that you are real and completely authentic too.
When someone sees you make mistakes or hears about your challenges - their mind says:
"Wow if they can mess up like that and are not scared to show it, I can too"
"Gosh if she/he can deal with all that stuff in the background and still do what they are doing, there's no reason I can't is there"
"Isn't it great that this person doesn't mind showing the world that they are vulnerable, perhaps I have been worrying too much"
And similar thoughts too. You see we don't really want to see a totally confident, nothing ever goes wrong person, because that makes our minds think:
"Well it's ok for them - they don't have any challenges or fears like I do"
"Yeh easily said, but if they were going through what I am then they would know why it's not possible"
People are drawn to you when you share your fears, they feel that they are Ok to share theirs, they want to be part of what you are doing and to help you (no not feel sorry for you, thats for the needy victim mentality) they want to be part of your journey and share your success, because they feel comfortable with you and know that they don't have to pretend to be "totally confident and without fear or challenges"
Take a few minutes right now and think about those people that you feel most comfortable around, that you are drawn to work with and spend time with. Are they the people who never have a problem in life and hide any vulnerabilities or are they the people that are totally authentic and real and do share their down-times and their fears with you?
I would love to know your thoughts on this, do you think showing vulnerability is endearing and potentially powerful or do you think it is a weakness and people should hide their vulnerability and the challenges they are facing?
